Do you wait for others to tell you that you are good enough? Maybe you want a friend to say you made the right choice. Or perhaps you feel good when your job is complimented.
It is normal to like being complimented. We all want to feel noticed. But when you need it too much, it can stop you from living freely. This need for others to approve of you is called external validation. At Therapy With Rose, I assist individuals trapped in this loop.
Let’s discuss external validation, how it can hold you back, and how therapy can help you overcome it.
What Is External Validation?
External validation means looking to others to feel good about yourself. It is when you wait for someone else to say you are worthy.
Some examples are:
- Checking if people liked your photo online.
- Ask friends, “Do you think this is okay?” before you decide.
- Feeling upset when no one notices your hard work.
Liking praise is fine. But you lose your voice if your happiness depends only on what others say. At Therapy With Rose, I help people rebuild that inner confidence.
Why Do People Need It?
People seek outside approval for a lot of reasons:
- Childhood Lessons: You may have been brought up trying to impress parents or teachers.
- Low Self-Esteem: When you do not feel good inside, you might wait for another person to tell you that you are essential.
- Fear of Rejection: Some worry others will leave them if they say no.
- Overthinking: When your mind runs in circles, you look to others to choose for you.
At Therapy With Rose, Many of our clients share these struggles. Together, we explore where it started and how to change it.
How It Holds You Back
External validation feels nice at first. But if you need it too much, it can harm you.
-
You Stop Trusting Yourself
You may feel you cannot choose without asking someone else.
-
You Try Too Hard to Please Others
Saying yes when you want to say no can leave you tired and drained.
-
Your Mood Depends on Others
One small comment can ruin your day, even if most of the feedback was good.
-
Relationships Feel Heavy
When you constantly need reassurance, friends or partners may feel pressure.
Therapy provides space to rebuild trust in yourself and your decisions.
Signs You Rely Too Much on Validation
You may notice:
- You ask for approval often.
- You feel worried if people do not reply to or notice you.
- You replay conversations in your head.
- You have trouble saying no.
- You think “not good enough” without praise.
If this sounds familiar, you may be stuck in the cycle, but you can break free.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy can give you tools to grow confidence. At Therapy With Rose, I help people who overthink, people-please, or feel low self-worth.
-
Build Self-Esteem
I explore where the doubt began. Step by step, I guide you to see our value without waiting for others.
-
Calm Overthinking
When your mind spins, I teach ways to slow down, stop worrying, and find peace.
-
Learn Boundaries
I show you how to say no with care, save energy, and feel safe.
-
Reduce People-Pleasing
We explore why you must please everyone and practice choosing what’s right for us.
Many people at Therapy With Rose feel lighter once they try these steps.
Shifting to Internal Validation
Breaking free from constant approval doesn’t mean ignoring others’ opinions. It means learning to value your own voice, too.
Ways to practice self-validation include:
- Ask yourself first: “What do I think?” before asking others.
- Celebrate small wins: Notice your effort, not just the result.
- Compliment yourself: “I am sufficient.” “I am trying my best.”
- Stop and listen: Before you respond to remarks, wait.
- Journal: Speak about the things that made you proud.
At Therapy With Rose, I guide people in using these tools daily.
What Life Looks Like Without the Weight of Validation
Imagine this:
- You make choices with confidence.
- You do not feel shaken when someone disagrees.
- Your relationships feel lighter and calmer.
- You feel proud of yourself, even if no one notices.
This is what happens when you stop depending only on outside praise. With support, this kind of growth is possible.
Therapy With Rose: A Safe Place to Grow
Therapy With Rose offers a caring space to explore these patterns. Many people I see struggle with self-esteem, overthinking, or people-pleasing. In treatment, I help you:
- Trust your own voice.
- Build healthy boundaries.
- Feel more confident.
- Live as your true self.
You do not need to stay stuck in doubt. With gentle guidance, you can begin to feel free.
Take the First Step
Is your need for external validation holding you back? Therapy can help break the cycle. I offer in-person and online sessions at Therapy With Rose, so care is easy to access.
You deserve to feel strong, calm, and confident in who you are.
Contact me today to start your journey toward self-trust and growth.
FAQs
Q: Is it normal to want validation?
Yes, it is normal. Everybody enjoys kind words. The problem comes when you need it all the time to feel good. At Therapy With Rose, I help people find balance so they enjoy approval without depending on it.
Q: Do I have to come in person?
No. My sessions are in-person and online. You may select what is most comfortable.
Q: Can therapy really help me stop people-pleasing?
Yes. During therapy, you learn why you must satisfy others and respect your needs. At Therapy With Rose, I guide people step by step in setting healthy boundaries.
No comment